HOW TO PUT A SWIMMING CAP ON
we used to do this on my swim team and kids would legit get hurt
WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????
I JUST FOUND OUT OMG OK so the show starts at 8 Eastern time, which is 7 Central time, which is 6 Mountain time, which is 5 Pacific time okokok ur welcome
America is just stupidly big…
This is irrationally funny.
( raises the roof but also raises my kids right )
you are having some friends over for dinner. you ask your vampire friend if they want some garlic bread but they just make a weird hissing noise and scoot their chair over. your spirit friend says their food tastes rather plain but when you offer them some salt they just fall silent. your werewolf friend cannot pick up their silverware and resorts to sticking their face in their food. everything is awkward. for everyone. so far this dinner party is not going well at all
there’s some new polish girl in my year and she speaks like no english and some guy was annoying her for ages saying ’ hey will you be my girlfriend, hey are we mates, youre fit, do you like me? do you? ’ then she opened google translate typed in some polish clicked translate and ’ You’re Weird ’ came up and everyone was like OOOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHIIIIIII
if you ask me out i’ll say yes so fast i’ll break the sound barrier
Security camera clips that make the news usually show bad things, but Coke decided to “look at the world a little differently” in this heartwarming viral video. They found security camera footage from around the world showing happy moments: people stealing kisses instead of possessions, dealing potato chips instead of drugs, and offering car assistance rather than road rage. [x]
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where weknick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.
My sexual orientation is straight
to the computer when I wake up